TurtleStomp
17 is definitely a money.
17 is still not a money
Mar 22nd
Image by thinboyfatter via Flickr
Those of you who’ve listened to TurtleStomp #1 (MailbaG with a capital G) may remember a little rant about a certain amphibian-based chocolate treat, and how it’s price raise to 17p was ridiculous.
Well I’ve just spotted over 20,000 people that agree with me. That makes it official right? 17 is not a money?
On the topic of badges
Mar 22nd
- Image via Wikipedia
Kongregate is quite a large flash gaming site, so odds are if you’re reading this then you’ll probably have visited it many times before, because hey, it’s generally a nice site to play on. Quick, clean and with a large collection of games. It’d say it’s definitely my first port of call for any procrastination more interactive than hitting F5 on Facebook all day.
That’s not to say the site’s without its flaws, and sitting atop these flaws like some sort of irritating king would be the Kongregate community, which unfortunately appears to be largely comprised of 8 year old kids yelling at each other in the chat box or leaving absolutely moronic comments that just about sit in my peripheral vision as I bust some zombies or other unidentifiable blobs just a coupla hundred pixels above them. Ugh.
I guess I can live with that though, I guess I don’t really have to pay attention to them, right? I’ll just ignore all the comments and close the chatbox every time I find myself drifting onto the site. That’ll work, right? …Right? Yeah, no. Something I can’t ignore is the achievements-esque system Kongregate has in place, Badges. If a developer has gone to the trouble to put Kong’s stats API into their game, an administrator can come along and slap some achievements onto said game to sit below the game and reel in aforementioned 8 years old achievement whores, whilst simultaneously taunting me for not quite being good enough to get that last badge. You know what? Fuck you badges.
Of course, my real problem with badges is the fact that I want them damnit. I have no idea why I have the urge to complete these cursed goals to earn around 50px square of colour and to increment a number by my username, but I do. These badges detract from the original gameplay goals (unless they’re the unimaginative “beat the game lol” badges, in which case, whatever) and almost unfairly boost some games above others in the community opinion.
I know I promised I’d ignore the comments, but I want to punch babies when I see someone comment like this:
nublet09 [24] : 1/5 needs badges
If you’ve ever made a comment to that effect, go and die in some sort of massive fire made of salted acid. Developers can only add the stats API and sit back and hope that the badge gods decide to bestow them with point-laden fortune, and badges don’t make any damn difference to the quality of the game, you absolute fucking moron.
*Cough*
Sorry, got a little angry there. Yes, it’s these ’1/5 needs badges’ comments that drive me away from the site in rage wherever I notice them. Similarly ’1/5 impossible badge way too hard’ can cause me to angrily tab out and game elsewhere. Human idiocy really detracts from fun.
Badges are a tricky point really. On one hand they appear to drive the community further into some sort of whirling pool of fail, on the other hand… well, I want them damnit. I guess I wouldn’t be upset if they disappeared overnight, but I do regularly get irritated by the community and it’s lack of knowledge around how badges get added to games and it’s general idiocy.
That settles it. If it means I don’t have to read another ’1/5 needs badges’ comment they can go. Down with badges, who’s with me?
Blur online multiplayer beta
Mar 21st
Yay, it’s been a while since I got to beta test a game (back to the days of the littlebig planet beta I think). So I was more then excited when a Friend posted a beta code which he couldn’t use due to lack of a 360.
In addition, more recently I have been emailed an additional 3 codes to give out (for being part of the beta) for which I have given out 2. So the first person to ask for one in the comments either here or on MOREtotheGAME (where this post will also be featured) can have the last code. [UPDATE - Code has now been claimed]
Ok enough talking about beta codes etc, the actual game is a racing game which looks like your average racing game until you find out about the vehicular combat. Yes that’s right vehicular combat, gaining power ups, attacking other racers and leaving hazards on the track. All the usual stuff you’d expect in games like Crash Team Racing or even Mario Kart. But this game is much more serious and you still need a reasonable amount of racing skill required to win.
With games such as Mario Kart and using it as an example here, you will find first place stuck with damn koopa shells and the like whilst the player in last bullet bills theirself past absolutely everyone, then the cycle repeats on the person now in last as a result. With blur the powerups are out there on the track and you can see what each one is before you drive through it.
Bullet Bill (on mario kart wii)- If you are last, you'll get this a lot!
Also in blur you are driving a real car, not a tiny go kart which can somehow hop and skid around corners and which usually maxes out at about 30mph (despite what their speedometer might say). You have the feel of being in a serious racing game but with the added perk of vehicular combat. Now I know there are other racing games which do not have slow moving go-karts with weapons and/or powerups but if I can remember, pretty much all of them are set in the future, where as blur is set now with real cars.
Online multiplayer in Blur can take up to 20 players in a race lobby, and when you are in a race with about 10 or more it starts to get interesting, especially at the start when everyone is crowded together and cars are skidding and flipping everywhere with close range powerup attacks. The one downfall I have noticed is that the slots not taken by players are not filled by AI, so if you are stuck in a 3 or 4 player lobby and the race starts (lobby takes control of itself, giving a choice of 2 tracks for players to vote between and a 1 min gap between races) .
(Hit more to read on, complete with screenshots and trailer)
And I mean anything
Mar 20th
- Image via CrunchBase
One of the more recent social sites to do the rounds has been Formspring.me, where you can ask members questions anonymously (or with your user info attached if you’re registered) and they answer them, the responses being posted up on their profile for the world to read.
Now, I’d been pretty intent on absolutely ignoring Formspring, because… well… lets just say, the people I saw using it were exactly the sort of person you’d expect to want people to question them, who’d want everyone treating them as the centre of attention. It gave across a rather bad impression, and the question I saw answered (via various other social networking sites being linked into it) the most was always along the lines of “do u fancy x lol?” or the inevitable “HOW BIG IS YOU’RE PENIS? ROFL”. Clearly riveting reading.
So Formspring.me passed me by for a good while, the apps blocked on Facebook wherever possible, and the occasional answer from friend’s twitter accounts simply ignored. I didn’t feel like I was missing out, despite my huge interest in the dating habits and penis sizes of friends. I didn’t see anyone putting it to good use, but that changed recently.
I saw a few more of the people I follow on twitter begin to use it, and use it in an interesting way. People responding to actual questions, usually on their opinion of a musician or videogame (That sums up who I follow quite well) and I found myself reading a lot of the answers. T’was good reading, but I still didn’t really feel motivated to get an account, I mean, I’m uninteresting and I generally dislike people, why would I want another thing to refresh which involves both people and a need to stop being dull?
I found myself signing up for an account after seeing Peter Serafinowicz (@Serafinowicz) hold a Q&A session by retweeting the questions with the answers, highly limited in characters (Still brilliantly funny, as per usual), but I found myself thinking “Why doesn’t he just use Formspri- Oh crap, I’ve just mentally suggested a site I decided I was going to stay away from”, and pretty much immediately went to sign up. Damn my fickle ways.
And what did I find once I was registered? That, deep down, I was just as much an attention seeking whore as the people I’d been complaining about earlier. Great going Tom, you’ve become one of them. What’s next, telling the world how big your penis is? Well no. Because no-one’s asked me that yet.
So go ahead internet, do your worst and ask me anything.
Open Letter to “Hardcore” Gamers
Mar 19th
Peggle, my own personal brand of heroin
My name is MasterCheese. And I am a casual gamer.
I’m not ashamed to admit this. I struggle to spend hours on end in a single game, and I’m far too jumpy to appreciate a good FPS or whatever. So I play casual games. Peggle, Bejewelled, Audiosurf, Rock Band. I can play a level or two, and hop back into IRC or MSN to chat with friends, then go back and play some more. It’s what I enjoy, and I’m glad that games companies are willing to cater to my corner of the market.
But others aren’t quite so pleased about the growing demand for casual games. They are the hardcore gamers. You might be one of them, and I honestly have no issue with you, as long as you leave me alone. Stop bitching about how companies are “ignoring their core audience” and how you put far too much effort into being good at FPSes or RTSes to share the title “gamer” with people like me. Well, I’m so sorry for trying to enjoy myself. And I’d like to prod at these arguments a little.
As far as “core audience” goes. You aren’t being ignored by anyone. Sure, Nintendo’s focus may have been shifted slightly, but when they do release games for you, you complain about them being continuations of existing franchises. The exact franchises you use as an argument for previous greatness. (Yes, flimsy argument, but I need to pad the post out a little >_>). Plus, you have plenty support on the Xbox 360 and PS3, where we don’t, but you don’t hear us complaining. You don’t like the Wii? Don’t buy it, and leave it alone.
And the amount of effort you say you’ve put into your genre of choice. You hardcore gamers aren’t the only people that develop skill through your heavy playing. Have you seen serious Bejewelled players? You watch someone play Bejewelled who has been playing for years and tell me there’s no skill involved. Tell me that they didn’t earn the “title” of gamer.
Also, to be frank, you put in that effort because you enjoy it. You enjoy the challenge provided by the hunt for the next kill, or to complete a game fully on its highest difficulty. But here’s some news for you, different people enjoy different things, and you have no more of a right to be entertained than we do, simply because of your desire to be pushed harder and harder.
All I ask is to be recognised for what I am. A gamer. I play games, I enjoy games. I just enjoy a different level of challenge, a lower level of immersion. The silliness provided by Peggle, the fun of playing Rock Band with a group of my friends. Just because my tastes are different, doesn’t mean I should be held in disdain by “hardcore gamers” for “destroying the industry”.
I am a casual gamer. And I’m not going anywhere.
